Mr. Calley, Honorable State Senators and Representatives, ladies and gentlemen. I am glad for this opportunity to speak about my experiences with the mental health system in the State of Michigan.
I could easily spend my allotted time talking about the lack of health insurance since it was a large part of my struggle. However, that is for another hearing on another day. Suffice it to say, the lack of insurance took its toll. I had other stresses like being unemployed, the end of unemployment benefits, my inability to find a job, to name just a few.
My journey started when I fell ill during a Forth of July parade. I had been walking on behalf of a politician who will remain nameless. I was taken to the hospital for heat exhaustion, This was an added stress because I worried about how I was going to pay the hospital bill. The worry led to many panic attacks but after about a month I learned that the hospital bill was paid for as well as the ambulance .
My best guess about what started my descent into the darkness is that the weight of the previous three years: unemployment, no health insurance, our home mortgage being "underwater," and bill collectors calling several times a day all led me to feeling overwhelmed. I could not see a way out of my mess. I became very depressed and suicidal. I found myself acting impulsively one minute,up and full of energy but the next down the slippery slope of depression. A friend suggested I check out #211. I found a miracle. I am alive today because I made that telephone call to Common Ground which referred me to Easter Seals. They started the process of getting me a diagnosis and into individual therapy. In the meantime, however, I still had suicidal impulses. It wasn't until I applied for and was granted Social Security and Medicaid that I felt less afraid and secure. It was a great relief.
Medicaid, Social Security, SNAP, Easter Seals and Common Ground have been my lifeline and I know they are there for many others. Finally I had a little hope, just knowing that I wasn't alone and that there was light at the tunnel. I became aware of why and how I got to the point of ultimate desperation, that it was a toxic combination of Bi-Polar, PTSD and Asperger's Syndrome and anxiety. For the first time I began to make sense of the factors that got me in trouble in every work place. I also came to understand that I have a lot of work to do yet with help from a number of medications which work but only if I take them which I have been doing..
The hardest part of dealing with chronic long-term mental illness is the fear that the help will get cut creates more anxiety.Also difficult was accepting help. which was a step in the right direction. I was fortunate the assistance was there and not cut to the bone. If the funding isn't there how many people will fall through the cracks? Even one person is too many.
I have to say that while the mental health system could be better in some respects, it nevertheless made a great difference in my life. Please do not cut the funding that helps so many with treatment for those of us who were and still are needing assistance . Without treatment, heaven only knows what will happen to us.
Testifying here is a risk for me, I don't often speak about last year because there is still a great deal of stigma attached to mental illness. One thing that needs to done to improve the mental health system would be working to lessen that stigma. It took me a lot to reach out for help and I'd hate to see any more people who are like me in every respect except they don't find the help they need. Please do not make it even more difficult for the desperate. Thank you.
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