The Bully World

Here I am, alone in my room
in my self-made jail.
I can't stand the world
and everything it entails.

It is mean and malevolent;
no tolerance
for any unique,
with a different march and dance.

They bully and beat us to death,
make fun of us too,
driving us crazy
depressed and so blue.

Suicide is much on our minds;
no other way out
of the constant pain,
beyond any doubt.

All we want is acceptance
for who, what we are.
We are human too,
we love and we care.

Yes, we can be different
but that is not vile.
We have strong talents
but a unique style.

Take a little time
and get to know me.
You might just find
you like what you see.
.

I Dare To Dream

I dare to dream...
of a country where I am included,
where Aspies are not secluded;
where people who are different
are still in the current
and can achieve to their potential.

I dare to dream...
of a country where I can speak
of problems without your shriek,
where comments are received
not by the peeved;
not as tangential but essential. 

I dare to dream...
of a country where my ability is prized,
not to be ignored and despised;
where I have dignity and worth
instead of stigmatized as worse;
where I'm seen as consequential

What's The Difference?

I have some challenges, I admit.
I have depression, anxiety,
Asperger's Syndrome and PTSD.
That's a lot I definitely submit.

Many Aspies are somewhat akin,
suffering some of the same things.
Co-morbidity is what it is called;
happens because we took it on the chin.


Our brains are wired kind of differently,
so we think in somewhat distinctive ways.
The world is somewhat unkind to us
when we study our subjects intently.

Depression is where most problems come
for me, feeling like I don't belong.
Worthlessness and hopelessness both afflict
me and I very often will succumb.

Anxiety hurts me a lot as well;
It keeps me from going out very much.
Social functions are quite difficult;
fear of being judged makes them seem like hell.

All in all, my challenges are these:
How to fit in a world that cannot know
what it's like to have a brain that works 
like it's from a distant world of green cheese.

And how to cope with my own feelings 
resulting from social pressures on me
and misunderstandings that arise
after these  interpersonal dealings.

Do not judge me too quickly or  harshly
until you have walked a mile in these shoes.
I do not understand you either. 
We can know one another partially.

Spiral




Jobless
Useless
Erased
Older
Aspie
Fighter
Trying
Bolder
Reaches
Stretches
Mockers
Colder


Endures
Persists
Defies
Moulder
Burden
Heavy 
Atop
Shoulder
Jobless
Useless 
Erased
Gone...


C. Boeneman
6/23/2012

A Tree in A Forest


I'm trying so hard
does anyone see me?
Does anyone think
I 've a right to be?


I talk no one hears
I write and no one reads
Does anyone feel
my tears as they stream? 


I get no response
I feel invisible
Can anyone touch
my hand as I reach?


There is no me
I think all to myself
Does that mean, I am
if I can still dream?


I feel like a tree
in forest so alone
falling quietly
no one can hear me.


So now if I go
will anyone miss me?
Does anyone care
if I cease to be?




Cherie R Boeneman
6/22/2102

Me

Yes, I know that I'm different.
Give me a chance and you will see
how good different can be.

Open your heart, open your mind
look past my social clumsiness
gaze into my eyes, see me.

See one whose heart beats as yours does
See me who bleeds and just like you.
Touch me and know that I feel.

Can you see that I yearn for love
or feel how cold alone can be;
Reach out and grasp my lonely.

I know it's hard to reach that far
outside your own experience,
I understand, believe me.

I have to reach that far each day -
just to look in your eyes and speak,
a frightning challege, you see.

Not knowing if I'm being weird
or if I'm fitting in with you
scares me and makes me leery.

It tires me more than you can know
and I can become quite depressed
sick to death of being me.

If someone would just listen, see,
how I think can be helpful to you.
I see things differently

What seems to be bad can be good
depends upon your perspective:
Weird or creativity.

So how will you choose to see me?
How will you react when we meet:
Welcome me or bully me?

However you act is a choice
that affects not just you but we.
Kindness we grow: cruel, I bleed.

C. Boeneman
6/16/2012