Down.... Like an elevator in free fall, but spiraling out of control nothing to stop my plunge emotional gravity pulls until I find the inevitable Bottom...
Surrounding noise, suddenly so far away; light-headed, shaking. Can't breathe, I want to run, unable to sit still. It is actually painful to remain in one place. I want to scream. I do cry and shake and cry some more. I need to escape, run from the pain, somewhere, anywhere, but there is no escape. It is always with me. It is like a choker around my throat. Finally, not being able to escape or get better I make the Leap of Concrete Faith.
Bones that walk, skeletons that talk; living who are not, conscious without thought. Paradox quite unorthodox; death where life should be, thought, no sympathy. Ghostly pale, yet it can exhale. No one ever sees; this spirit can breathe. Frustration but ideation. needing and wanting, love but not haunting. It can't be, ever to be seen, ever to be held; all emotions quelled. .