Ghost Walking

Bones that walk,
skeletons that talk;
living who are not,
conscious without thought.

Paradox 
quite unorthodox;
death where life should be,
thought, no sympathy.

Ghostly pale,
yet it can exhale.
No one ever sees;
this spirit can breathe.

Frustration
but ideation.
needing and wanting,
love but not haunting.

It can't be,
ever to be seen,
ever to be held;
all emotions quelled.

. 

The Slave

It's an irresistible pull from the grave
calling out to me, requiring my presence.
Like hypnosis, behavior controlled
not from autonomy but from the slave.

A slave who felt the call, the pull on himself
required now to endlessly repeat the sequence.
Inner impulse, outward obsession
like a book he can't put back on the shelf.

"Onward!" he exclaims," keep moving on, move out"
Inexorably we gravitate to the end.
"What will it be like?" I want to ask
Hearing my thoughts the slave shrugs and shouts:

"The time is come! Prepare you the way this day!"
The fog closing around us clings like an old coat
Closer and colder it penetrates.
I grasp the cold is me, am dismayed.

"Why tremble you?" asks the slave slithering on.
"You asked to be here and you found your own pathway
Why sound anxious now. you got your wish."
 I look around and see: I am Gone.

Death (Haiku)

Death creeps up on me

Quiet as clouds in the sky

One day I'm just gone.

The March Into Hell

It only takes one,

hardly a Legion

to march into Hell,

the Nether Region.

The gates are open,

the pathway is wide,

no one to stop you

in fact there are guides.

It's an easy slide

to the bowels of Hell.

Once you're inside

it's sulfur you smell.

How to resist

making that sojourn?

That is much harder,

avoiding the burn.

How you treat others

has a lot to do

with what path you're on;

Faith, Hope and Love too.

The greatest is Love

so try that way first.

Hope when you have doubt,

Faith when times are worst.

I'm not sure about

those who are insane;

whether God forgives

what's wrong with their brains.

I really hope so

'cause I don't intend

to hurt anyone

now or in the end.

I only hope now

the people I've harmed

know I didn't want

to hurt or alarm.

I am so sorry,

please try to forgive

my sins against you.

At least you'll outlive.

Deadly Forces

Avalanche...
Snow charges downward,
overcomes
all that's in its path.


The Tornado...
Racing wind of death
can drop down,
kill without warning.


Tsunami...
Mountain water wave; 
crushing speed,
drowns all in its way 


Politics...
Lying, deception
can crush lives,
deadly as nature.

Had Enough

All I want is hope.
I can't seem to buy it.
Looking everywhere
finding less than none.


It almost seems like 
someone is against me
trying to hurt me
just for their own fun.


Everything I try
to get help for myself
doesn't seem to work;
I'm coming undone.


Why won't anything
go right for me these days?
Everything I do
seems to get me shunned.


I'm giving up now;
I've really had enough.
No one wants me here
so I say I'm done.

Silence

Silence...

A welcome sound.

Peace, when it's needed most.

Death, your arms reach out to grasp me.

...I'm here.

Take me...

I want to leave.

Life's sharp needles murder...

Sitting inside me just waiting...

Waiting...

Fall, 1973

Is Anybody There?

They say you're the professionals,
the ones I'm supposed to trust.
If you can help me I haven't seen it yet.
All we've done is paperwork
So  far it's been a bust.


I looked for help cause I'm depressed,
want to commit suicide
You won't even let me say the word aloud;
too much trouble I suppose.
You take it all in stride.


When do we get to therapy?
It has been quite awhile.
The medication has not started to work
I'm as depressed as I was
I'm feeling quite as vile.


When do I get some help from you?
What is it I have to do?
I'm still thinking about how to kill myself;
I still know how I'll do it
and when I'll bid adieu. 


How, when do I get through to you?
I've been trying to tell you;
you don't want to hear what I have been saying
so do I have to scream it
or just carry it through?

Suicide Is Freedom

Suicide is freedom.
It can't be any worse
than the agony I'm in.
To feel pain, then nothing,
Is release from the curse.
Those who love me: understand.
My life has been nothing
but horrifyingly adverse.
I am nothing but a drag
on everyone around,
on the whole universe.
It is better if I go.

Final Freedom

Freedom:
You don't care
what I say or do
as long as it
doesn't impact you.


My life 
means nothing
if I stay clear
of you at all;
don't increase your fear.


Freedom,
Worthlessness
means that I can
do what I must
to make my last stand.


Best part:
No one cares
except for one;
she's better off
after I am gone.


Dark? Yes.
But it's true,
the way I feel.

Now, it may pass, 
right now it is real.

Running...

Tired but wanting to run
away, far away
from myself, everyone.


Tired of the deeper pain
sitting in my soul,
creating a bloody stain


Tired of being a weight,
burden on you all;
wanting a different fate.


Wanting to be like you
not like who I am;
needing to be normal too.


Wanting is not getting
I realize that;
it really is upsetting.


Wanting, yearning, crying
to be what I can't;
leads me to think of dying.


Dying: a way to run...

Only Time Will Tell

Fifty-six times
I've said good-bye
to the person I was
when I was born.


Fifty-six times
I've said hello
to possibilities
for tomorrow.


How many more
greetings, farewells
I get is unknown,
time's secrets sworn.


How many more
mini births, deaths
pass before my eyes,
time that's borrowed.


Only time will tell...