Anxiety Attack

I'm staying right here
I'm never going to move.
It doesn't pay me to,
I've nothing to prove.

I only get hurt
when I do leave from here.
People are so cruel,
make me want a beer.

I cannot drink booze,
or any kind of beer.
I'm an alcoholic
so craving I fear.

It's not only that
but anxiety too;
overwhelming panic,
don't know what to do.

It's safer inside
where people can't appraise,
where they cannot judge me
I'm safe from their gaze.


©2012 Cherie R. Boeneman

Face Your Fear

Why is it so hard for me

to be able to be seen

as capable in my own right

and valuable to a team?

Why is it so hard for you

to see here a real person,

not the weirdo you think I am, 

and that I can contribute too?

Why the discrimination?

What is it you're afraid of?

Who is it that's really challenged?

When will you see God's creation?

Stop! And look in the mirror;

ask yourselves all these questions.

What are the answers you're getting?

The circumstance should be clearer.

If you're honest with yourselves

you will have to acknowledge 

a form of stigma and bias

we've always known exists ourselves.

It's time to make a change here.

Please don't wait any longer.

Exclusion causes us great pain

and you need to move past the fear.

The Whale Jail

Consumed by my problems

as Jonah by the whale,

I sit in gloomy silence

inside my self-made jail.

9/1997

Color My World

Fear colors the world
a deep shade of blue;
creating feelings
to match the hue.


Anger tints it all
a bright scarlet red
as it turns inward
wanting me dead.


Hopelessness is grey,
cloud's claws crawl, enter,
squeezing happiness
out nerve center.


Gratitude changes
the shade and the tint
Attitude is pink,
sparkle and glint.


When I'm feeling blue
I try to recall
appreciation
once and for all.

Fear Not

Fear freezes

feelings fast.

Anger acts

against all.

Hopelessness'

heavy hold.

Loneliness

lingers, lives.

Depression

decides: die.

Caring calls,

creates choice.

Loneliness

languishes.

Hope holds, halts

heavy heart.

Relief rests,

releases.

Fear fast fades

feelings free.

 

Fear Not

Perhaps the most basic problem we have in our society today is that we live in fear. We fear for the future. We fear the other person, we fear growing old. We fear the government. We fear. Fear is a destructive feeling because it closes down the possibility for rational thinking and creative thinking. When we are afraid, we "hunker down.".  Most of the time what it actually needed is to face what ever it is head on. When we are fearful, it is far more difficult to see alternatives. We also freeze the situation so the only thing we see is one possible scenario. The fact is, rarely are we totally accurate in how we are viewing the situation. If we insist on seeing what we are afraid of in one way, there is only one possible outcome. If, instead, we realize that there are alternate possibilities, we are freed up to see multiple outcomes. 

How many times have we seen what we fear the most come about?  Often, because we allow for only one outcome. In our fear, we bring about the very outcome we fear the most.  Fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

That is why the Bible spends so much effort saying, "Fear not."  Three hundred and sixty-five times, in fact. One for every day of the year. The Bible recognizes how debilitating fear really is, how it separates us from G-d and one another and how it distorts reality. Fear is the single biggest source for anger and sin. We cannot be the people G-d has created us to be if we live in fear, anger and anxiety. G-d created us to love and love is impossible  in the midst of fear. G-d created us to be in relationship with one another and society is impossible if everyone is afraid. That is why the world is in so much trouble. We are all living in fear and that keeps us from relating with one another in truth and trust. Without trust, civilization is impossible. Unless we turn back to one another and start relating in good faith, we will fall apart as a country. 

That is what is so destructive about the Tea Party: they are afraid of EVERYTHING  and EVERYONE that doesn't think, act or look like them. What they are afraid of, they attack.  What and who they attack, attacks back. They (and we) need to be reminded of the Biblical message: "Fear not."  Only when we follow this command can we become the People of  G-d.  Only when we stop living in fear can we become what G-d created us to be. Only when we "Fear not" can we be free to love.