Peril and Hope

The latest projections by the Huffington Post have the GOP retaining control of the House of Representatives, even adding a few seats to their majority. It is unclear whether the Democrats will retain control of the Senate. I can see now why Sandy Levin wants to retire: he might not want to continue to fight the Republicans on every single thing. I read that he refuses to play political games and that's all the GOP knows how to do. I might be tired of it too if I were him. I know how tired of it I am as a citizen. But that is precisely why we need him to win this election. We desperately need people like him. We need his decency, his competency and the refusal to play games. This county's only hope is in people like Sandy Levin. If the worst happens and Romney also, somehow (by hook or by CROOK) wins and the House GOP maintains and extends their control and the Democrats lose control of the Senate then this country is doomed without voices like his. Still, I would understand at his age the desire to retire. I see it regularly in my own mother.

People like Sandy are our hope inside the government. But the ultimate hope is in the people of the United States of America:. the hope that we will fight to keep our voices for truth and social justice alive and strong so that we might fight the corruption and greed and lust for power of the GOP and their corporate masters. We must fight to reverse the trend towards government surveillance of citizens whether or not  we are guilty of anything other than patriotism . The Patriot Act was but one example of this trend. There have been many others: NDAA, FISA,the projected use of drones in American cities...all are efforts to control an increasingly restive population. But they are doomed to failure just like the dictators in Africa and the Middle East if we fight for our rights as they are given to us by God and the US Constitution. It is a fight of faith, personal and civil. It doesn't mean violating the separation of church and state. It means the exact opposite: it means upholding that gulf between the two in order to preserve our liberties. When the forces of religion, corporations and government merge, heaven help the people of the United States. We must be the voices and bodies to stop that awful possibility and reality. Occupy Wall Street may be one of the shining examples in this struggle; citizens uniting for a greater cause than themselves. That is, and will continue to be, the great hope for this country, the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.


P.S.  I realize Sandy Levin voted FOR all the above awful legislation but on all other matters he has been and is on the side of justice and fairness. In addition, his opponent in the new MI 9th district is just awful and a Tea Party advocate. 

Our Future

What will the future be like?

Will we be hunger free?

Will we all live in peace
and have freedom from fear?

Or will there be more famine

with manufactured food

and war is seen as good
from sea to rising sea?

It depends on us right now,

what we say, what we do

to help force changes through.

We are the hope for earth.

I Won't Run

"Cut your losses",
says someone I know.
"Find someone who
appreciates you."

That's good advice.
There's just one problem:
The thugs remain
to drive me insane.

I will not be
intimidated
into stillness
about illness,

the stigmatized
ignored and abused.
They need to change
how they short change

disabled people
in the campaigns and
the Party too;
let us break through.

They need to learn
a little critique
is not so bad,
no need to get mad.

Strong people grow
from criticism,
not run from it
or throw a fit.

All we want is:
not be shoved around,
be included,
not secluded.

Faith and Depression

It has always seemed like such a contradiction: how could someone who firmly believes in Jesus as the Christ also be depressed and suicidal? They do not go together in the normal schema of faith.If you believe in the saving grace of Jesus then there ought to be no room for despair, hopelessness, depression and suicidal thoughts, right? Nope. It turns out that the same person who believes the former also suffers with the rest. It may seem like a contradiction but the reality is that they co-exist.

The problem lies with the failure to understand depression as the organic illness it really is. Many Christians see depression as a spiritual failure, somehow the fault  of the depressed person for not having enough faith. The truth is, depression is an organic, definable illness in the same way heart disease is. Not many of us would classify heart attacks as a failure of faith. Neither should we define depression that way. Depression is caused by real imbalances in brain chemicals and complicated by life events.One may or may not question the role of faith in the life events but to call an imbalance of seratonin, dopamine and other chemicals in the brain a lack of faith is a serious failure to even try to understand the true nature of depression.

The Church, as a whole, needs to do a better job educating parishioners about mental illness in general and depression in particular. Though MILLIONS of us suffer from depression every year in this country only 3 in 100 sufferers seek help. That has to change. There should be no more shame in seeking help for depression than in going to the doctor for cancer. Indeed there should be no shame in being depressed at all. It is not  a matter of fault or blame. It JUST IS.

I have a Masters Degree in Theology and my home church was quite proud when I was ordained Deacon in the United Methodist Church. They were less thrilled when I left the ministry but they were still my home church. They managed to get their investment back by using my gifts and graces as much as they possibly could. At some points, I felt like an unpaid pastor. But then I suffered a breakdown and was hospitalized several times. I will NEVER forget that first Sunday back to church. Not ONE person either looked at me or talked to me! I never went back. These were the people who raised me in the faith. And yet, they could not deal with someone who had been suicidal and depressed. It was extremely painful but I understood the stigma that still attaches to mental illness and depression.

My message to the Church is this: What would Jesus do? First of all, he would heal me. But he would NEVER judge me or anyone else suffering from depression. Blame the disease not the patient. Jesus loves us all unconditionally. We ALL have our weaknesses and we are ALL sinners. But mental illness, in and of itself, is not a sin. It is a disease. It is no more sinful than having cancer. If and when the Church and broader society GETS that fact, the stigma may begin to disappear and the mentally ill may be included in society in a fuller and broader way. I hope and pray not too many more of us are ostracized before that happens.

Nightmares To Dreams

Dreams are extracted,
diverge from nightmares, 
becoming something benign.

Distorted images,
monsters, turn into
clouds, softer and fine.

Clouds change shape too but
we play games with them,
guessing how shapes are defined.

Moving from horror
to freedom; relief.
It's like I have crossed a line.

Fight Stigma

I was going to give up
and do myself in;
no one wanted me here,
I can never win.


But then I realized
I would never lose
as long as I hang in
and fight the abuse.


Stigma hurts everyone,
we are ALL unique.
Please don't put others down
because they seem weak.


I combat an illness;
no fault of my own;
no need to be afraid
and don't throw that stone.


Glass houses all shatter
with one single throw.
Really, we all live there
So just let it go.


It's better to reach out
and begin to see
that uniqueness is good
tolerance is key.


That's why I hang around,
to help others get,
there's no need to be scared
we are not a threat.


Give up the idea
our illness means odd
We are all around you,
some never seem flawed.


When you hear depressed
Please don't assume the worst
When you hear autism
Don't assume she's cursed.


Give us all a chance
just like anyone new.
Many will surprise you
with what we can do.



.

Hope

Hope is a way of waiting...

For rain to fall from

Non-existent clouds,

On parched and dusty farm lands.

Hope is a way of praying...

When words come no more

And tears have run dry,

Leaving nothing else to do.

Hope is a way of living...

Through the present pain,

Towards future life;

A bountiful, fruitful joy.

Hope is a way of loving...

Through the driest times,

Towards a question mark;

Dark clouds on the horizon.

Hope is a way of waiting...

For a storm to burst

With thunder and win

And, through them, the cleansing rain.

Summer, 1988

Down Then Out

Hopelessness by itself
is bad enough
but when followed by
a temporary reprieve
that is ripped away
without any warning,
it seems a weight
beyond bearing.

Worthlessness is somber
also perhaps
unrealistic.
But it's the darkest,
blackest and deepest pit;
bottomless hole,
so despairing.

Depression feels endless
or so it seems.
It envelopes, chokes;
it asphyxiates
soul without sensation;
only sadness,
all unsparing.

Salvation can be found
in strange places:
working on a cause
gives off oxygen,
breathing is easier
when you're busy,
when there's caring.

The End of The Tunnel

At the end of the tunnel
there should be a light
or so I've been told.


It could be a train you know
or it could be hope;
how will it unfold?


So I walk towards the light
outcome uncertain;
my fate uncontrolled.


The path becomes constricted
too tight to turn back;
what's to be unfolds.


The light now becomes larger
and brighter I see;
to the path I hold.


Too late I see what it is
I hear it now too.
The train I behold.


"Oh well, "I say to myself.
"It's over now, Me."
Why is it so cold?


Now I see another light
and tunnel ahead
calling to my soul.


So, it's been foretold.

Fear Not

Fear freezes

feelings fast.

Anger acts

against all.

Hopelessness'

heavy hold.

Loneliness

lingers, lives.

Depression

decides: die.

Caring calls,

creates choice.

Loneliness

languishes.

Hope holds, halts

heavy heart.

Relief rests,

releases.

Fear fast fades

feelings free.