Politics (Haiku)

Politics slithers

quietly and evilly;

bites like a viper.

The Nature of Love

Sometimes love is a mistake;
all emotion and lust,
very little commitment.
and almost no trust.

Attraction can't do it all;
love is for the long haul,
lust is made for the moment;
means little at all..

Love's aim is important too.
who it is may be wrong
for us and really toxic:
do you get along?

The moral is straight forward:
aim at connection
if it is solid the rest 
comes with reflection.


©2012  C. Boeneman

Altered Reality

Disease melting sanity,
overreaching defenses,,
breaking down barriers
like a Hollywood horror.
Infecting a person's mind,
transforming personality,
distorting perceptions
and mind altering reality.
No one must know,
the alien must be hidden
inside and kept quiet;
It must not escape.
It cannot be contained
and finds it's way through
to the surface and shows
itself to an unsuspecting
world, which is unprepared
for the changed and afflicted
victim that was their friend.
It is mental illness.

Fall Changes (Haiku)

Summer green changes

First yellow green then yellow

While leaves change for Fall

All About Nothing

Surrounded by alone,
followed by frozen out,
damned with no praise,
screamed at by silence.

Alone in a crowd,
lost while at home,
damned among the saved,
believing among the doubts.

Paradox among dilemmas,
answers without questions,
punctuation without sentences,
all among nothing.


©2012  C. Boeneman

Our Future

What will the future be like?

Will we be hunger free?

Will we all live in peace
and have freedom from fear?

Or will there be more famine

with manufactured food

and war is seen as good
from sea to rising sea?

It depends on us right now,

what we say, what we do

to help force changes through.

We are the hope for earth.

Anacrostic 3

Demanding damnation
Excruciating existence
Anguished affliction
Terrifying torment
Horrifying Hell

Painful particularity
Loathsome living
Exasperating experiences
Agonizing attempts
Sympathetic suicide
Extra Effort

The Love of Evil

How does one love Evil?
Not how does one perform evil
but actually fall with passion?

I asked that as a youth
about Hitler and Eva Braun
Was it his powerful fashion?

I didn't know why then;
I am even more confused now
since I am the one involved.

He seemed at first glance, great.
Our views seemed to coincide
but over time they devolved.

What seemed great turned wicked.
Or was it sinister always
and he just hid it quite well?

Whichever, I am scared.
I want to walk away from him
but will we end in his Hell?

Trust

Trust is a fragile bird,
can be broken, like a wing;
easily, and can be deadly
to a love with just one word.

One action or statement
can be it all takes; a fling?
It has taken flight for good
unless love is undeterred.

Best advice: don't break trust
if you can stop the whole thing.
That avoids a world of hurt
for everyone in your world..

Sinking

Slipping,

Sliding away

Sinking into silence

Infinitely, Forever;

Quietly and alone.

Overwhelming sadness.

Stillness...

©2012 C. Boeneman

Lies (Haiku)

Lies consume the soul

Like moths making holes in wool;

Eat moral fiber.

The Final Stalker

Death is my stalker,

sitting outside my window,waiting;

coming to claim what is his;

commencing a final countdown

to my reality,

forever 

Paranoia

I wonder about paranoia sometimes;
that it's not paranoia if someone
is really out to get you;
if the suspicion is true.

It can be quite difficult to tell these days;
technology being so efficient,
people can spy upon you
and there may well be no clue.

You may be crazy, then again maybe not.
Or maybe both are at the same time true.
Paranoia could be there
as well as a real snare.

The solution to this issue is like this:
You should take the problem seriously
and act so as to stay sound;
better that then suffer wounds.

©2012 C. Boeneman

Volaric Limerick (republished)

There once was a Tea Bagger named Volaric

whose positions seemed quite barbaric

his congressional run

was really no fun

And his politics seemed quite generic.

© Cherie R. Boeneman 2012

*If you use this limerick please give me credit

Fire and Water

Fire and water don't blend
except when in my nightmare,
where fires ravage forests
while lake waters ascend.

Outside homes, fires are fought; 
water and extinguishers,
flames lapping like the water
in cottages nearby caught.

How these things coincide
I have not one conscious clue.
Total opposites they seem
yet together they abide.

Nightmares are such strange creatures;
they turn in weird directions
What meanings they have for us
Lie in these very features...

©2012  C. Boeneman

Every Breath

They told me I'd never again see you,
be near you or to touch you.
I cannot possibly live like that.
It is too much to comprehend.
I am overwhelmed with sadness, 
with grief beyond measure that
steals my breath and tears my heart.
I don't want to breathe again or
my heart to take it's next beat. 
I would rather have it all stop 
than to never see you or be near.
You are everything to me and
you do not even know that
my every breath is for you.
I would give my life for yours
without a second thought.
And I would rather die 
here and now, on the spot
than to never even say "good-bye".


©2012 C. Boeneman

* I needed to write this. It is, at last, the heart of my emotion and truth.

Heroes Are Rare.

I don't have heroes anymore
They are only people
and they eventually disappoint
if you set them to the fore.

Authentic heroes are quite rare
they are almost extinct.
To do something wholly selfless and brave
takes courage and love to spare.

It takes both qualities, not one.
One of them is fine, good
but doesn't make or equal a hero
just that something good is done.

To be a hero takes heart
and maybe some art too;
it's said, "courage is fear that said its prayers"
faith is what love imparts.


Love alone might make a saint,
courage marks a soldier.
But both together is very distinct;
it takes a fine brush to paint.

I'll Take It

Everything's fine,
everything's cool;
nothing to worry me,
the sun's started to shine.

The clouds are parting,
the rain is stopping.
A rainbow's appearing,
the colors are starting.

Where's the pot of gold,
the end of this bow?
I have no idea
but the fantasy holds.

Universe seems mild,
the stars seem aligned;
cosmos is auspicious,
heavens seem to have smiled. 

I'll take this time now
with deep gratitude,
knowing all things can change
any way, any how.

Echoes of Love

Love songs echoing, 
bouncing around off
my empty soul,
hitting my heart
with arrows of darkness.
Silence is the answer
to the song's questions;
heaviness of heart
and painful self-pity,
knowing the question
will never be answered.
The echoes ever reverberating
with nowhere to stop.
The darkness is vacuum
the pain is forever.
My love can never be answered.


©2012 C. Boeneman

Resources for Adults With Asperger's

When will there be resources for ADULTS on the Autism Spectrum?  There is a critical shortage as autistic/Asperger's children grow up to be adults and for those who already are. Who will take this critical need seriously? Where are the researchers, where are those trained to diagnose adults? Where are those trained to help smooth the transition into society? Those who can help train for jobs, for living independently,etc? So far the need far outstrips the supply. See this from PBS: http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/health/jan-june11/autism5adults_04-22.html  and this:http://www.jobs4autism.com/adults-struggle-with-lack-of-services/ . The stories are seemingly endless, including my own. There was no diagnosis when I was a child,so I am looking for resources as an adult. I can't even find someone who can diagnose me. especially since I am unemployed, the common issue for adults with Asperger's even though we are intelligent and talented  and extremely honest. The lack of social skills keeps us from living up to our potential as does the continued discrimination and stigma surrounding the condition. If only there were the resources, people on the high end of the Autism spectrum could contribute in a meaningful way to society and the economy. One option is to provide internships to help prepare us for the workplace. The problem is that most internships are designed for college students without special challenges. They are often seen to be cheap labor. What the adults on the high end of the Autism Spectrum need are internships especially designed for their particular challenges, and that would take a lot of work. Who is willing to put that kind of effort into providing assistance to someone with Aspergers? That is the challenge. That and the research required and the trained professionals and the money. 

So we call on the State and Federal Government to provide for these needs. They will pay off in the long run as we enter the workforce and pay taxes. NIH and NIMH could facilitate much of the research required. Please, someone hear our plea! It makes sense. It is the right thing to do.

Soon

It's coming up soon
my turn to leave.
It'll be opportune
though  you may grieve.

I cannot stay here,
I must go now;
it's time to disappear,
to die, I  vow.

The pain is too great,
with no reprieve
and is a constant state;
don't preconceive.

Oppressive,
it is extreme;
seems to be progressive,
I want to scream.

Let me go now,
don't hold me here
anyway you know how;
my death is near.

Ode to Death

There is much to be said for the grim.
The blackness that calls funeral hymns.
The ravens gather as if to celebrate
another soul left to seek the one Gate.
There is freedom in the leaving;
There is infinite tapestry weaving.
The seal of the final, wax from the ring.
Chorus from the netherworld sings.

The tunnel awaits, so does the light,
but what lies beyond is an unknown sight.
Seek it or fear it,  THAT is the question.
To be or not to be is the same equation.
Many are drawn to the power of light
energy that draws souls to the bright.
But some are afraid of the power therein
and shun the light due to original sin.

Darkness can be comforting to these;
the quiet and coldness offer peace.
Some seek it from the very start
knowing they don't deserve to take part.
So they seek the dusty, dank grave
knowing that their soul can't be saved.
It's  a good thing they seek then,
eternal quiet for those women and men.

Turning It In

I hereby turn in my soul.
I think I am done with it.
You can have it back.
Anyway, it doesn't fit.

It always was way too large
for a person small minded;
couldn't stretch that far,
The brightness of it blinded.

The body sought rejection
from the very beginning.
They should have melded
but there was no imprinting.

At last, I could take no more,
the pain was way too much
I have to leave now
And abandon it as such.

Thanks for the loan, I never
intended it this way.
I tried hard, you know,
I just cannot stay.

Divine Punishment

"You are a punishment from God,"
they say with such certainty.
I know they believe it;
it's hard not to feel odd.

Yes, I'm unique and different
maybe with some social quirks.
But am I a sanction
from the Divine Referent?

It sure feels that way many times,
like I'm  totally worthless,
that I have no place here,
my being a cosmic crime,

I do not want to live this way,
I do not want to exist.
I want to escape life
and finally go away.

©2012 C. Boeneman

Empty

I think I've written all there is to write;
there's nothing left inside me.
I am now as empty as can be,
there is nothing left to come to light.

Emptiness is the symptom of what's wrong
All the meaning departed.
The deadly rot inside has started
and nowhere do I think I belong.

There seems to be nothing left to be said
because I feel so little.
My emotional life seems brittle.
The truth is that I may as well be dead.

I'm wondering if this also shall pass
and all the inspiration come back
or if it if gone and has gone black.
I hope it is the former not the last.

©2012  C. Boeneman

Changes (Haiku)

Leaves turning color;
Changes in life and season,
Inevitable.

Summer into Fall,
Fall leaves into Winter snow
Life into a death.

©2012 C. Boeneman

Home of The Free?

America, Home of the Free...
or not so much these days;
more like home of Gestapo,
Patriot Act and N.D.A.A.

Free when the authorities want
and no more than they say.
We can be picked up, detained
at any time or on any day.

So says the law as written
by the elected ones
who care more for their power
than U.S. people in the long run.

But we have options; fight back;
rise up and we protest.
We can't let them take away
what the Founders left as our bequest.

©2012 C. Boeneman

Pain (Haiku)

Aching reminder,

Pain speaks to being alive

among animals.

The Bully World

Here I am, alone in my room
in my self-made jail.
I can't stand the world
and everything it entails.

It is mean and malevolent;
no tolerance
for any unique,
with a different march and dance.

They bully and beat us to death,
make fun of us too,
driving us crazy
depressed and so blue.

Suicide is much on our minds;
no other way out
of the constant pain,
beyond any doubt.

All we want is acceptance
for who, what we are.
We are human too,
we love and we care.

Yes, we can be different
but that is not vile.
We have strong talents
but a unique style.

Take a little time
and get to know me.
You might just find
you like what you see.
.

Puppy Dog Eyes

Forgive me for the puppy dog eyes
with which I always followed you.
I never realized I was doing that
until I was warned not to pursue.

I know I thought that you hung the moon;
my mistake, one now I see through.
I know it was rude of me to say the least;
that's not how I wanted it construed.

Did I have a slight crush on you? Yes.
Will it ever go away? Yea.
It may take a while as most emotions do
but I'm  pretty sure it will give way.

Please be patient with me a short while.
Don't ban me to the nether lands.
I will likely return to a normal state;
 maybe some day we can shake hands.

©2012 C. Boeneman

Lemons to Lemonade

Turning lemons into lemonade
is my newest point of view.  
I need to see  the positive    
instead of me getting blue.

There are two sides to every coin:
Obverse and reverse; heads,tails.
Positive, negative choices;
choose to win or choose to fail.

There's crisis or opportunity
in everything you meet.
How you see what is happening
determines win or defeat.

I choose to see opportunity
in what looks like a big snag.
It is far less stressful that way;
success could be in the bag.

©2012 C.Boeneman

Liar! Liar!

Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire!
Is the cry again this season.
Politicians prevaricate
more easily than they reason.

Every one of them stretch truth
to be quite generous about it.
Politicians lie as freely
as cells phones appear to transmit.

When they tell the truth, by strange chance,
We all do a fact check on them
to verify this rarity;
a truthful political gem.

It is sad but also quite true:
we expect lies from our leaders.
Unfabricated truth from them
can unsettle many readers.

The truth should or ought be the norm. 
We need to expect it more often;
we have to call it forth from them.
The facts don't need to be softened.

©2012 C. Boeneman

The Fifth Season

Spring has sprung, 

Fall has fell,

Election season's here...

What the Hell?

©2012 C. Boeneman

Who Is the Challenged: Me or You

Maybe the worst is over  
I certainly hope that's true;  
never wished to fall apart  
or to cause trouble for you. 

Maybe now life can go on
for me as well as for you.
I hope you can forgive me,
maybe even start anew.

I will not push for that though.
it's got to be up to you.
I know I've been acting odd
I hope now that is all through.

There's a special wish I have
that is for your staff and you;
that you can learn to accept
the challenged, it's overdue.

We are all unique, you know,
different talents, strong suits.
we all have our weaknesses;
All we can do is improve.

The autistic are people 
and have human feelings too.
We may not express them well
but we can fall in love true.

Give us opportunities
and you just might look anew
at who the disabled are  
and also at what we can do.

©2012 Cherie R. Boeneman

Police Vs. The Citizens

Since the beginning of the Occupy Movement, there has been an underlying theme: the brutality of and oppression by the police. Indeed, it often appears that we are heading towards a Police State in this country. The Patriot Act and NDAA are just two examples  of how Congress and the President (regardless of party) are pushing to restrict citizen's constitutionally protected rights. The powers to enforce these acts appear to be derived from the Department of Homeland Security (the name just SCREAMS oppression and Orwell). They are actually MILITARIZING local police departments with left over used weapons from past wars. SO Police Departments have the ability to put down full scale civil war if it came to that. And it just might, because ordinary American citizens are feeling particularly put upon these days by the wealthiest 1% who are doing quite well at the expense of the bottom 99%. And yet, the 1% want MORE and want the poor and middle class to pay for it. The greed and callousness of the wealthiest Americans is unprecedented in American history. And that's going some. To pursue their strategy the wealthiest have set up propaganda groups to brainwash the ignorant into buying the claim that if we give them more tax breaks then the wealth and jobs will trickle down to the rest of us. We have been there for a long time and all the bottom 90% has gotten is trickled ON. So, the rest of us are restive. Recognizing that restiveness, the 1% (also know as the military industrial complex) have made sure to well arm the local police departments and given them para-military training. The result has been that these departments inevitably feel the need to use all that equipment and training, even where it is not warranted. So we have heads cracked open, young girls pepper sprayed right in the face at close range when they are already caged in and innumerable similar acts all over the country. All in the name of "preserving the peace." 

The citizens of this country need to wake up to the fact that there is a very deliberate attack upon our constitutional rights and unless we act now, they WILL be permanently stripped from us. We have to stand up now or be forced to our knees later, We cannot allow police departments to abuse us at any time. At least not without shouting about it from every rooftop (or Twitter). We must be organized to fight the oppressors, some of whom are in Congress. The ones who voted for NDAA, for instance. They do not want to preserve YOUR freedom, just that of their 1% puppet masters.We must fight those who would strip us of our rights. It is now or never, my fellow Americans.  We must, in a peaceful and organized fashion, reverse the trend towards tyranny. It is up to us now.

Life (Haiku)

Life, it's so absurd.

There's no real point to it;

Always ends in death.

© 2012 Cherie R. Boeneman 

Depression

It is like finding a deep hole and laying down
or being underwater and not able to breathe
The only difference is that you seem not to care, 
and have a wish for it just to be over. It's not.

You want it all to end, so the pain will too.
It seems there are no other ways out.
There are endless brick walls in your path
and no way to find your way back.

As you sink farther the abyss gets blacker,
soul's vacuum and spiritual void forever.
The cosmos doesn't care about your plight;
you are a minuscule atom in an entire universe.

You believe the universe has a point.

©2012  Cherie R. Boeneman

Searching Through Absurdity

Looking for meaning
in a quite absurd world;
is like looking for ice cream
in a bath of steam.

Searching for purpose
when you're feeling worthless
is like hunting for a loon
on the arid moon.

Discovering joy
in a world full of woe
is like seeking for some yeas
in a room of nays.

Finding full freedom
in a land of despots 
is like chasing clouds of fog
in the midst of smog. 



©2012 Cherie Boeneman

Anacrostic #2

Alone...

Desperate, despairing, 

Overwhelmed, overcome,

Rejected, refused, 

Excessive emotion,

Suicidal...

©2012 Cherie R. Boeneman

Invisibllity

They thought it was an empty chair
but in actuality I was there.
You see, I can't be seen,
Invisible,behind a screen.

Empty things tend to be ignored;
they're only seen when something's being stored.
They're often passed by
That also explains why so am I.

Invisible or empty, which?
Maybe I am both which might be a switch.
Not one, not other
maybe the same as one another.

Forbidden Love

Love...

Hurting...

Wanting him...

Needing the love

Ever forbidden.

Tears...

05/24/1974

©2012 Cherie R. Boeneman

Falling

Me...

Falling...

Forever...

Dreams disappear

As I hit bottom.

Death...

Butterfly (Haiku)

Freely, it flutters,

A beautiful butterfly

Dancing in the breeze.

Fall, 1973

© 2012 Cherie R. Boeneman

Today

Today...

Twisting my soul,

Taking it, tearing it

Into bloody bits of future

Terror...

05/1974

©2012  Cherie R. Boeneman

Let Me In

They say I'm badly damaged. 
So why not throw me in the trash?
If I'm so unusable to you and others
toss me away and hear the crash.

Oh, that's right, you just did that.
 Like garbage, I'm in the gutter 
after being stigmatized and disregarded
and treated like so much clutter.

All because I'm different; 
have challenges so don't fit in.
I try my hardest to be like everyone;
that fight's impossible to win.

Why can't you just accept me
for the human being I am. 
I'm talented, unique, even intelligent
but not one of you give a damn.

Be warned, I'm not leaving soon.
I'll be raising my voice, be heard.
I will demand your attention and some respect
And I will not just be deferred.

Why not let it happen now?
Let me in, let me serve the cause
That's all I want is to help re-elect one man;
should be more crucial than my flaws.

The Lake (Haiku)

The lake is alive;

Water is speaking in waves.

The waves feel the shore.

Anxiety Attack

I'm staying right here
I'm never going to move.
It doesn't pay me to,
I've nothing to prove.

I only get hurt
when I do leave from here.
People are so cruel,
make me want a beer.

I cannot drink booze,
or any kind of beer.
I'm an alcoholic
so craving I fear.

It's not only that
but anxiety too;
overwhelming panic,
don't know what to do.

It's safer inside
where people can't appraise,
where they cannot judge me
I'm safe from their gaze.


©2012 Cherie R. Boeneman

Consequences

One of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn
is sometimes things just can't be undone.
No matter how hard you plead or yearn
some consequences cannot be outrun.

Some words or acts cannot be unsaid or be reversed.
The harm done was real and forever;
feelings can't be mended or coerced.
There are no quick fixes whatsoever.

There's only one way we have to really try to aid:
to apologize from our heart.
We have to step away, not persuade.
Time has to enter in and do its part.


©2012 Cherie R. Boeneman

Mea Culpa

I come in peace

with good intent

My bad behavior

I certainly lament.

"Mea Culpa,"

is my real plea

I was not thinking

as you can plainly see.

Please forgive me.

I don't deserve

but hope for mercy;

that peace can be preserved.

©2012 Cherie R. Boeneman

Sleeping Bear Dunes

Tall sandy dunes build

a harmonious earth levy

protecting the lake.

                                                           ©2012 Cherie R. Boeneman

Unfriending

How can you be all alone
with people in your face,
indeed crowding you out,
invading your space?

It was bad enough back when
I was in my teens
but, God, I'm fifty-six;
tired of this scene.

It's not just all the crowding
but really, the sneaking,
in my room and my car
has me not speaking.

I can't stand liars and thieves
who break confidences
who repeat what I said;
I was defenseless.

So just go, leave me alone
I do not need your kind.
I deserve much better
and that's what I'll find.