Humiliation

It'd been a long time coming
but the burning was new
Support had always been there
but the lust had confused;

Were new feelings for someone
I had always admired
But he's so much older now
close to being retired.

His beloved wife had passed 
I was volunteering;
I was around him much more,
in parades appearing.

So I felt the attraction.
I wrote some poems of love
expressing admiration,
feelings I had to prove.

So as poems appeared online
I found he had remarried
and thus I was mortified;
wanted my head buried.

Humiliation was first
and then came feelings of shame.
I became overwhelmed
and ran out without aim.

I was badly embarrassed,
I wanted so much to die.
I just couldn't face him
or look him in the eye.

Dying of embarrassment
is possible, I see that's so;
because I wanted to
and still might die from woe.